EXAMS...not exactly my cup of tea...

Bloodshot eyes , a stomach groaning with an overdose of coffee, invectives rolling off the tongue like a car on a slick driveway, and frantically pacing the corridors at 2 am in the morning ....these are some of the scenes that you would encounter in my hostel when the exams are knocking on the door (well knocking on the door would be an overstatement,it was just 5 hours away ) ....been there, done that ...would be the verdicts of our seniors and would shrug it off with an indifferent flick of the shoulders .....but the experience is really nerve racking.

Imagine just 4 hours left and there is still a frighteningly large portion to cover ....this is the time when all common sense flies out of the window ...where logic and imagination take the back seat and its time for plain old rote learning ...well guys this is not a reflection of my dumbness (its 3 in the morning and i have to stick paper clips to my eyes from falling shut ....imagine trying to figure out some dumbass question like ...what will be the excitation current for this circuit blah...blah...blah).

Ever wondered how the human body can cope with trauma ...well its just a mystery to me too...i dont know how the hell i survive the exam day ...someday i feel like i would keel over and die in the exam hall from slogging in the previous night....24 hours without sleep ...try that out and in the exam hall you would feel like your mind has shut down all response to stimuli and is only focussed on putting your pen to the damn paper..and the cacophony of pens scrawling on the paper would lull you to sleep.

But the fun part about the exams is that you need noit cram your head with all sorts of needless information ..there is always scope for some collabaration.And also there are always reday reckoners handy during the time of exams ....
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Still wondering about how progressive the exam system has become ...DONT ..all these fancy terms are just euphemisms for cheating ...i choose to mention these terms since i have a huge female fan following and the word cheating would elicit gasps from them ...

There are 3 modes of operation for cheating and they all depend on the finesse with which you can carry out the job ....
first is the innocous looking chits concealed in the dress ...only an expert con would know how to extract as much info from the chit as possible ...you have to have that cool nonchalant look on your face while shamelessly copying from it ..any sign of tension will give you away ...NOT RECCOMENDED FOR THE WEAK HEARTED..

And for the next level of conmen there is always the scope for copying straight from the book.....but that would mean spending ungodly hours in the toilet which sometimes spells doom for them as the invigilator would suspect foulplay ...although after the legalising of Article 377 five to six boys in the same toilet cubicle would surprise not even the hardened invigilator.

For the last and true guys who are respected throughout the conmen community , they are the ones who have had a goodnight's sleep before the exam day , who can proudly retort when asked that they have'nt yet opened the polythene cover on their books....who have mastered the treacherous domain of cheating ....who have weathered any kind of situation thrown to them ....

Their chits , tucked in various parts of their apparel would seem like they are embarking on a covert CIA mission .....and etched on the backs of their palms would be the roadmap to their chits........

Once a friend of mine tried this technique but forgot the roadmap ...and ended up being caught with chits dangling from his underwear....
Well the vagaries of the exam system continue to frustrate the happy-go-lucky existance of students and every year new techniques would come up to cope with the market demand ....


One last remainder of the trauma of the morning-after-the-night-before ....I ask one of my friends ...I feel like my head is a jumbled data bank ... i dunno how i'll fare in the exams .... "well" he replies yours is atleast a data bank ......mine is data blank...


Best of luck....people for your next exams....