Thank heavens my exams are over and i can write my blog in peace ...far from the madding crowd ...well literally far from the crowd ...my exams are over and me and some of my friends are staying back in the hostel for Robotics classes.
The exams are well over , but what remains is the deathly hangover from the traumatic exam experience ...i am yet to recover my habit of sleeping for 10 hours straight.Seriously folks , the way they show it in movies how a disturbing experience can throw your life off balance...it was happening to me ...
Of course it wouldnt have lasted if i had escaped home the day the exams were over ...most of my friends were enjoying back at home ...happily sipping away at the hot brew made by mom and laughing their heads off at my situation. Yes here i was stuck in my hostel having all sorts of nightmares about my exams ...
Take last night for straters I woke up at 4 am..it was deathly silent and eerie.where were all the people i wondered , as i took a quick visit to the bathroom.During the exam time most of the guys would be frantically pacing the corridors in their pyjamas looking like deranged victims of a lunatic asylum. Books and notes in hand , they would be trying to cram into their heads all sorts of info that had eluded them since the last few months.
Ok so after i came back to the room , Niteshs room to be precise ,rubbing my bleary eyes i opened the AEC book and turned to a page .And just when i was poised to scribble a few formulas when it hit me ....For heavens sake , my exams are over ...what the hell was i doing . And then i realised the emotional scars the exam had left on me.
I was never a person to be afflicted with any sorts of nervous disorders , but the 3rd sems were killing me from inside. If it hadnt been the company of my friends who too were on the same frustration plane , i would have never have read for the exams.
Imagine people falling asleep in the hall and then scratching off their papers to reappear for the exam once again.Such was the harrowing experience for us in the cold dreary December month. The invigilators were no help either ...they would constantly harass us with their annoying invigilatoring(no such verb , just made it up).Why the very word INVIGILATOR had a grand inquisitorial sound to it. I remember one invigilator ....not disclosing his name for safety reasons , switching off the fans in the sweltering summer , so that he could pick out any faint murmuring from the crowd. Such people shpuld be hung upside down and whipped.
Thats why to rid myself the memories of the exam i have torn all the question papers in my sight and lit them up , devilishly smiling as i watched them go up in flames. One more effect of the exam hangover is that , i keep checking the time and almost feel an uncanny unease when the clock strikes 9 : 30 (the start time of the exams), i still cant get to open my watch and sometimes keep checking the time in the middle of the night.I've been wearing it since the exams started and havent opened it yet. I get dreams about exam question papers talking to me and laughing at me ....chasing me to a cliff.....and i wake up from this nightmare all sweaty.
Really....... Paranoia is creeping up inside my head...and unless i go home soon , i will be one of the unfortunate victims of exam hysteria.
Anyways happy holidays folks ...dont worry about me , ill pull through...Enjoy the winter.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Pursuit of happYness
It was during my exams that i got some time to watch Will Smith's Pursuit of Happyness. And what it taught me that night was more than simply to marvel at the film's storyline and message. The subtle and touching message it delivers is inexplicable , rather it is like the wind . You cannot see it or comrehend it , but you sure can feel it.
In all my past blogs there has been an undercurrent of humour and comic timing ......always appearing as the jester....but for once i decide to open up and reveal my inner tribulations.
The odd semester has really been dead boring ...starting from the month of the Monsoons to the cold winter , i am finally relieved that our exams are half over.
The experiences in this semseter truly make me introspect that i too like Will Smith am in the pursuit of happiness.Yes what the film taught me was that there was no ends to justify the means ...there is no destination called happiness ....its how you find time to laugh at life's little rays of sunshine amidst the dark storm laden clouds.
The first year was all about the sheltered life in the hostel ...protected by the teachers , seniors fearing to toy with the ragging directives ample time to behave crazy .....the sole rulers of our own hostel .....free to shout our heads off.
But it all changed when my second year life started .....
I ve lost a few things and gained quite a lot of experience over these few months ... you know the odd sems are quite boring in UCE , but i would beg to differ .....it was these months that have made me realise that to remain happy , life need not be rosy all the way........It is the moments of despair that force you to reach out to that flicker of optimism in the corner of your heart.
Just recently , when i learnt about my attendance back in a theory paper , i was shellshocked ...all sorts of morbid possibilities ran through mind in those few moments when i saw my name on the dreaded list.....but it was a comment by my branch mate Tulu that made me roll with laughter .......SHIT ...FUCK he said ....what happened ? i asked and to my surprise he replies ....."They have spelled my name wrong on the list" ....Imagine the comic timing ...here was a guy who was not worried about the repurcussions of a back paper ...the stigma associated with it ...rather was angry at his name being spelt wrong .......
AND at that moment i realised that life will always deal out to you a bad card ....your job is to take it with a pinch of salt. As i walked back to my hostel i realised that without the back i would have been happy but now that i have a back ....its my job to find happiness in the next few days and muster all my courage to face the bitter truth. I know that i will be smiling after i have cleared my back paper....and would be thinking that "would i be so happy if i didnt have a back", would i have felt the same happiness and relief without it ....maybe.... maybe not.But what has happened has happened.Nothingi can do but to shrug my shoulders and get on with life , because if these trivial things would start to worry me , then i was in no way equipped to handle life's bigger challenges
This period is really testing me , but i am happy taht i have my friends and parents by my side.These days will pass and the fun and frolic of the hostel life would erase all bad memories.
"It is after the darkest hours of the night that finally give way to dawn", I know this fact and eagerly waiting for these days to pass...
In all my past blogs there has been an undercurrent of humour and comic timing ......always appearing as the jester....but for once i decide to open up and reveal my inner tribulations.
The odd semester has really been dead boring ...starting from the month of the Monsoons to the cold winter , i am finally relieved that our exams are half over.
The experiences in this semseter truly make me introspect that i too like Will Smith am in the pursuit of happiness.Yes what the film taught me was that there was no ends to justify the means ...there is no destination called happiness ....its how you find time to laugh at life's little rays of sunshine amidst the dark storm laden clouds.
The first year was all about the sheltered life in the hostel ...protected by the teachers , seniors fearing to toy with the ragging directives ample time to behave crazy .....the sole rulers of our own hostel .....free to shout our heads off.
But it all changed when my second year life started .....
I ve lost a few things and gained quite a lot of experience over these few months ... you know the odd sems are quite boring in UCE , but i would beg to differ .....it was these months that have made me realise that to remain happy , life need not be rosy all the way........It is the moments of despair that force you to reach out to that flicker of optimism in the corner of your heart.
Just recently , when i learnt about my attendance back in a theory paper , i was shellshocked ...all sorts of morbid possibilities ran through mind in those few moments when i saw my name on the dreaded list.....but it was a comment by my branch mate Tulu that made me roll with laughter .......SHIT ...FUCK he said ....what happened ? i asked and to my surprise he replies ....."They have spelled my name wrong on the list" ....Imagine the comic timing ...here was a guy who was not worried about the repurcussions of a back paper ...the stigma associated with it ...rather was angry at his name being spelt wrong .......
AND at that moment i realised that life will always deal out to you a bad card ....your job is to take it with a pinch of salt. As i walked back to my hostel i realised that without the back i would have been happy but now that i have a back ....its my job to find happiness in the next few days and muster all my courage to face the bitter truth. I know that i will be smiling after i have cleared my back paper....and would be thinking that "would i be so happy if i didnt have a back", would i have felt the same happiness and relief without it ....maybe.... maybe not.But what has happened has happened.Nothingi can do but to shrug my shoulders and get on with life , because if these trivial things would start to worry me , then i was in no way equipped to handle life's bigger challenges
This period is really testing me , but i am happy taht i have my friends and parents by my side.These days will pass and the fun and frolic of the hostel life would erase all bad memories.
"It is after the darkest hours of the night that finally give way to dawn", I know this fact and eagerly waiting for these days to pass...
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