DA....DA......DATS ALL FOLKS stammers away the cute and adorable Porky Pig after a Looney toons show and we croon in delight on seeing the roly -poly pig created by Warner Bros.
But since the last month any discussion about pigs could land you into serious soup....The cuss word "SWINE" , which is a favorite of the girls when they wish to slander a guy, is now the topic of a very dangerous medical epidemic hell bent on wiping off half of Orissa's population.
"Why so serious"??? LETS PUT A SMILE on that face i decided(may God grant peace to Heath Ledgers soul)...and one evening when all the world was furiously scratching away at their lab records brains turning to jelly in the process , a devious plan was hatched by my ever notorious brain. I recollected that one of my uber cool friends Nishan Gantayat was suffering from flu since the morning.And everything fell into place at once.The cog wheels clicked and TCHING...my light bulb brain lit up with a brilliant plan.
OK once again people i never thought that my harmless joke would boomerang with such ferocity and the repercussions of a harmless joke would make me the public enemy number 1 amongst my female fan following.....
I had heard of Shakespheres famous quote .....HELL HATH NO FURY THAN A WOMAN SCORNED.....and i had dismissed it as one of the ever so many idiosyncrasies of a half bald bard....until that night.
You may have heard of gruesome stories of mobs lynching its unpopular leaders...well it was the same case with me...had i ventured anywhere near the New Hostel that day i would have been strung up by may sideburns and then pelted stones at.
Well back to the proceedings of that evening .......i typed out a message ...here are the contents
VSSUT ALERT: A Manufacturing Sc. student Nishan Gantayat has been tested positive for swine flu.He has been hospitalised immediately.Please take vaccines as soon as possible.
And i gleefully pressed the "send" option to my friends...but i tactfully avoided her sister...a move that lessened the brunt of the opprobrium(A last minute move)....
And then unawares of the domino effect i had created, i hurriedly scribbled a few more pages of my lab assignment before having dinner.(Once more a last minute effort guaranteed to get me a D in my labs)
And when i say domino effect i mean a real huge domino effect...the friends i had forwarded it to in turn forwarded it to their friends who in turn forwarded it to their friends....and rumour spread like wildfire among the six hostels.....people were shocked out of their wits....one moment they were lazing around in the balmy evening and the next moment they were on the brink of a major pandemic..
To describe that night as frantic is an understatement....it was utter chaos....phones started ringing off the hook and people converged at any place they could find to discuss such a serious issue.i even added that "Nishan had been dispatched to the hospital " to any one who called me up for conformation.The brouhaha that i had created gathered into a veritable snowstorm....the only topic of discussion was NISHAN AND SWINE FLU...left ,right and centre.The poor guy was having his dinner at a table and at the next table people were making plans for carrying him off to the hospital as soon as possible...truly a hilarious situation.
By and by the rumour died down...as people guessed that the message coming from a crackpot like me it was bound to be a hoax whose sole intention was to create chaos....but that was what i thought....
When the message reached NH it was like a MOLOTOV COCKTAIL...the moment it hit it burst out into a fire of controversy....wails could be heard for the poor guy...i was told that juniors , batchmates and seniors alike huddled together to provide consolation to her sister(who of course was nonchalantly going on with her work as she had already realised it was a prank).But her friends had already declared me public enemy number 1 , and brandished knives in the air baying for my blood....it was the fiercest vituperation form a girl who first called up to enquire about Nishan"s health that amazed me....Why was she so concerned was the million dollar question......
Of course Nishan was silently happy that i had played the prank so that he could bask in the outpouring of love form the NH.....and that too un-sisterly love....AAH ! Well the things i stoop to do for my friends.....
And the icing on the cake was my sweet friend Mridu who called up and let loose her well rehearsed anger on me...the torrent of words were so fast and she was so angry that she was literally on fire.And like any mischief monger, i was cool about my shenanigans...so cool that she banged the phone in frustration (they don't call me the ICEMAN for nothing)
So in hindsight i am proud to say that my sociological experiment worked and i can proudly say that i controlled DEMOCRACY WITH A CELLPHONE.....of course i avoided the proximity of NH for a few days and this hoax message did the rounds of our hostel a few more days before fading into oblivion.But it was the stuff of huge laughs at Bulu bhai's tea stall(My next blog)And the mawkish reaction of my female fan following resulted in this blog...thanks girls...waiting for your retaliation so that i can add it in my next blog...:) and for now iall i can wish my readers is OINK OINK and Nishan please get well soon....but don't worry ill type out a cool obituary for u in case you decide to kick the bucket........sorry Nishan you were just an unfortunate victim ....or should i say you were just a SWINE FLUKE.....:)
Cheerio folks
I had heard of Shakespheres famous quote .....HELL HATH NO FURY THAN A WOMAN SCORNED.....and i had dismissed it as one of the ever so many idiosyncrasies of a half bald bard....until that night.
You may have heard of gruesome stories of mobs lynching its unpopular leaders...well it was the same case with me...had i ventured anywhere near the New Hostel that day i would have been strung up by may sideburns and then pelted stones at.
Well back to the proceedings of that evening .......i typed out a message ...here are the contents
VSSUT ALERT: A Manufacturing Sc. student Nishan Gantayat has been tested positive for swine flu.He has been hospitalised immediately.Please take vaccines as soon as possible.
And i gleefully pressed the "send" option to my friends...but i tactfully avoided her sister...a move that lessened the brunt of the opprobrium(A last minute move)....
And then unawares of the domino effect i had created, i hurriedly scribbled a few more pages of my lab assignment before having dinner.(Once more a last minute effort guaranteed to get me a D in my labs)
And when i say domino effect i mean a real huge domino effect...the friends i had forwarded it to in turn forwarded it to their friends who in turn forwarded it to their friends....and rumour spread like wildfire among the six hostels.....people were shocked out of their wits....one moment they were lazing around in the balmy evening and the next moment they were on the brink of a major pandemic..
To describe that night as frantic is an understatement....it was utter chaos....phones started ringing off the hook and people converged at any place they could find to discuss such a serious issue.i even added that "Nishan had been dispatched to the hospital " to any one who called me up for conformation.The brouhaha that i had created gathered into a veritable snowstorm....the only topic of discussion was NISHAN AND SWINE FLU...left ,right and centre.The poor guy was having his dinner at a table and at the next table people were making plans for carrying him off to the hospital as soon as possible...truly a hilarious situation.
By and by the rumour died down...as people guessed that the message coming from a crackpot like me it was bound to be a hoax whose sole intention was to create chaos....but that was what i thought....
When the message reached NH it was like a MOLOTOV COCKTAIL...the moment it hit it burst out into a fire of controversy....wails could be heard for the poor guy...i was told that juniors , batchmates and seniors alike huddled together to provide consolation to her sister(who of course was nonchalantly going on with her work as she had already realised it was a prank).But her friends had already declared me public enemy number 1 , and brandished knives in the air baying for my blood....it was the fiercest vituperation form a girl who first called up to enquire about Nishan"s health that amazed me....Why was she so concerned was the million dollar question......
Of course Nishan was silently happy that i had played the prank so that he could bask in the outpouring of love form the NH.....and that too un-sisterly love....AAH ! Well the things i stoop to do for my friends.....
And the icing on the cake was my sweet friend Mridu who called up and let loose her well rehearsed anger on me...the torrent of words were so fast and she was so angry that she was literally on fire.And like any mischief monger, i was cool about my shenanigans...so cool that she banged the phone in frustration (they don't call me the ICEMAN for nothing)
So in hindsight i am proud to say that my sociological experiment worked and i can proudly say that i controlled DEMOCRACY WITH A CELLPHONE.....of course i avoided the proximity of NH for a few days and this hoax message did the rounds of our hostel a few more days before fading into oblivion.But it was the stuff of huge laughs at Bulu bhai's tea stall(My next blog)And the mawkish reaction of my female fan following resulted in this blog...thanks girls...waiting for your retaliation so that i can add it in my next blog...:) and for now iall i can wish my readers is OINK OINK and Nishan please get well soon....but don't worry ill type out a cool obituary for u in case you decide to kick the bucket........sorry Nishan you were just an unfortunate victim ....or should i say you were just a SWINE FLUKE.....:)
Cheerio folks
hey where are the comments guys and gals ....ur messages were pouring in that night why not the comments???
ReplyDeletehau hela........tike simple language re lekh....We are not CAT competitors of you. Hi fi word use kar...but most of the words should be understandable otherwise your blog will have less value than you think..........
ReplyDelete@ sanjay point taken....will be more reader friendly this time
ReplyDelete@anjan yeah meet me n u cud b sure of bitter gourd juice n a treat at d wrst hotel 2 make sure u get d flu:P....nishant n namrata n mridu ,u peopl r gonna make sure we make dis happen:)
ReplyDeleteAbey Saale, tu fix kar .le.. kabhi santwana ke peeche to kabhi mridu ke... Not fair in a place where there is always scarcity..
ReplyDelete@simpi di- any treat is welcome...atleast it will be a treat.
ReplyDelete@anonymous-rascal write your true name on my blog
Firstly,a very smart move indeed(not msgin me)
ReplyDeleteSecondly,d prank f urs(so called Uber-cool guys)...wasted a hell lot of ma frndz precious time.A Fully-Faltoo one.
Never mind,ur blogs never fail 2 entertain..good goin..
@ simpi di-definitely ,someday:)
Good... Lagey Raho.... No doubts ur pranks r more or less lethal than molotovs, but still bulu bhai's tea will definitely lose its taste without such hot discussions... :) 8)
ReplyDeleteThink about this, when you go
ReplyDeletefor a shot, what do they do first? Clean your arm with alcohol.. Why? Because
alcohol kills germs. So…… I put on my mask, walk to the liquor store (exercise), I put lime in my Corona (fruit), celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies), drink on the bar patio (fresh air), get drunk, tell jokes, and laugh (eliminate stress) and then pass out (rest). The way I see it, if you keep your alcohol levels up flu germs can’t get you!!!!
so this time lets not celebrate for the swine...lets cheer for the wine...!!
@Ashu- yeah rightly said....i was hoping that the avian flu hits again so i can splurge on chicken without any financial worries
ReplyDeleteyou are a shaolin when you use your biro(keys in this case).Wicked impressive,man!
ReplyDelete@ simpi di : looking forward to do the honours ASAP..
ReplyDelete@ anjan: u once again made me the scape goat in ur blogs?? :x call me "sweet" and then frame all possible allegations against me??? smart move u made.. but just u wait and watch.. its retaliation time :x :P
but then.. u did disappoint people that day..never u disappoint with ur blogs.. keep going.. :)