CLASSROOM CAPERS part 4

Ahoy there mates....yo ho ho and a bottle of rum ....the daily humdrum and ennui had turned my cerebral matter into jelly and had to resort to watching the hilarious antics of Captain Jack Sparrow to fire up my gray matter...hence the Pirate hangover...

"Oh god please kill me today so that i don't have to go to my class "has become a repeated incantation as i wake up every morning....and let an earthquake reduce the electrical department to shambles...has become a futile prayer as i have to grudgingly accept the fact that Burla lies well away from any sort of geological tummy upsets. Adding to the fact that near perfect grades of 9.83 have made a branchmate "Santanwa" fall in love with the branch and rouse professors from their afternoon siestas to take classes has been death knell to all my hopes of a lazy afternoon gracing the tea shop in my shorts.DAMN YOU i mutter every time i see her now a days.No hard feelings girl...just that your antics have made me lose my beauty sleep.

Savvy?? or should i give you a detailed account of my harassing experinces...Ok for all of my non college mates .....here goes..

Have you ever been to a place where you feel all your happiness has vanished , where the skepticism of your mind overrules the optimism of your heart, the very purpose of existence stands defeated, the dark cavernous halls resounding of the whispers of anguished souls whose wallowing misery remains etched on the walls(juxtaposed to the Paan spit)....

Remember how the DEMENTORS had an effect on a place in Harry Potter movies....have you ever been to a place where laughing and unbridled joy is condoned?? a place where gay abandon is blasphemy ...a place whose erstwhile traditions would asphyxiate you ....well folks welcome to our ELECTRICAL DEPARTMENT...and hey this is just the good side...the dark underbelly of our department is exposed only to us unfortunate lot of branch students.

The whispers of the dark hallways speak of untold misery, of hours of endless waiting for the ever elusive teachers to show up and sign a document(the holy grail of the secretaries)

When you walk from the chemistry department towards the electrical side , creativity and colour fades away...You enter a monochromatic world of starched iron collars, pressed formals and the leather stench of formal shoes.It is as if all happiness has been straitjacketed here and thrown out of the window.

If i would be given the opportunity to photo tag the deaprtment faculty along with the building then i would surely tag it as .........."DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS"

And one must have a resolute will, nerves of steel to stop the pangs of frustration from playing haywire with your mental wiring.Especially in the labs where the Godforsaken instruments have a mind of their own and refuse to yield to your repeated efforts and sometimes completely shut down after you have used a string of cuss words on them.

When i used to say that classes were dead boring in the second year, this years classes are draining . Between a tooth extraction and electrical classes i would choose the former.....Between a glass of hemlock and electrical classes i would choose the former, Between a lunch of squid soup and electrical classes i would choose the former.....just so that you get an inkling of how energy sapping the classes are.

And then the icing on the cake are the teachers of our department...if i would write about the idiosyncrasies of all our teachers then it would fill an entire encyclopedia..so i am just picking out a couple....

The best and the worst ....BB Pati and PK Hota.......one is the smiling assasin and the other is the Burla bomber...

If Pati is a sniper(silently picking his targets and proceeding to demolish their reputation), then Hota is a 50 caliber machine gun shredding everything in its path.

If Pati shreds your copy then Hota likewise shreds your reputation....It is like being on the sets of Godfather..ever waiting for the next volley of bullets , the next gunfight where you meet your end...getting out unscathed from their classes is akin to getting out of Pearl Harbour alive after the Japanese attack.And the list goes on. Pati relishes making your copy into an airplane.....an assignment defaulter would find his copy doing a pyrotechnics display in the air before landing unceremoniusly out of the door.And Hota proceeds to bludgeon every ounce of self respect and self esteem out of you.....You would feel better if someone molested you rather than getting an earful in his class.......

"YOU BALOONWALLAHS" being his latest form of abuse on us thick skinned back benchers...and we bear it all silently ..ever waiting for a chance of PAYBACK...after all Revenge is a dish best served cold ...one day divine justice will prevail and our hapless souls would get salvation from this vicious cycle of classes and abuse ....how i wish that day would dawn soon.Yet while we languish in our miseries....... every day feeling the same, the drab dull classes grinding on and on ...the girls of our section have shrugged off their plight and carry on with their daily routine, enjoying the rigors all the way.....my branchmate Shraddha has even earned the nickname of "Pilot" because of her ease in maneuvering through stormy classes and lab sessions.Her eagerness to attend classes showed that day when she took the pain of calling the teacher for a class...a blasphemy for the BBC and was almost downcast when classes were suspended that day.Last laugh ....BBC

For all us guys it has been a trying time lately....gone is the fun and revelry we used to have in second year, gone is the swashbuckling attitude towards classes...how i miss the IT students of 1st year......so for all ye readers who had hoped to find a more hilarious and action packed CLASSROOM CAPERS Part 4 i regret to inform you i may have to close this capers series and hence forth write under titles like THE ESCAPIST , THE HARASSED MIND, THE CLASSROOM REDEMPTION,I KNOW WHAT YOU DID AT THE LAST BENCH etc etc...

Cheerio folks and enjoy the last vestiges of fun and your afternoon siestas before class starts once again ..........Adios Amigos..